A Holey Moment…Not to be Confused with a Holy Moment
Can anyone remember learning to print letters in Kindergarten? We copied letters on yellow paper and if we made a mistake, we’d wear a hole in our paper with our erasers? I hated when that happened.
Well, this was not Kindergarten, but I can still see the hole in my report card:
In 11th grade, I’d been re-districted with three of my friends, from a small private school to a high school numbering in the thousands. I felt lost in that crowd and my first report card showed it. A big, fat F in history glared at me. So, I came up with a brilliant idea: “With a few clever pencil strokes, I will just change this F into a B and once my parents sign off on the card, I will erase the pencil lines.”
My conscience clicked in. Trying to rectify my deceit, I wore an eraser hole in my report card. Not only did I get an F, but now I was in trouble for my “crime”. Not only did that hole alarm my parents to my criminal deed, but they notice all my other grades were falling, as well. Not only did I feel lost and drowning in a sea of people, I was failing, too. That “F” I got in history was deserved, but to me, I felt I was a failure.
Years later, I was diagnosed with ADD. In addition, being creative, made me a right-brained learner in a left brained educational system. But more important than having a medical diagnosis, I learned that I have a heavenly Father who is never disappointed in me. I am NOT a failure in HIS sight because I am His daughter. I can approach God as my Abba.
If I could have a do-over for that report card day I know God would embrace me. That hole in made would be a minor issue. Without words, He’d convey that He understood I tried, while conveying the truth behind my grade; that He knew the extenuating circumstances weighing against me. Within God’s embrace, I might have been able to chuckle at the futility of changing my grade.
Through that experience, I learned that God’s love always stoops down low enough to pick us up when we fall. He sees all of our failures and loves us anyway. He calls us to that “secret place” and fills in all the holes with his unfailing love.