Dancing With I AM
Being nearsighted necessitates I wear glasses if I wish to perceive things in the distance. Objects close up come through clear, but those far off always appear fuzzy. This holds true only in the natural. In all other aspects I suffer severe farsightedness. It takes considerable, concentrated effort for me to stay in the moment, to experience the joy of the journey, to fully see and be where I find my feet. I easily lose sight of now, anxiously anticipating what is yet, or at times, reflecting on what was.
You know what they say about having one foot in tomorrow and one in yesterday? You know what you end up doing all over today.
Why is it so easy to piddle away our days?
God is here, now. He calls Himself “I AM.” He was and is and is to come, but to experience Him intimately, to truly abide in Him, it is imperative we live in the now. This is where blood and breath proclaim life. Memories enrich lives with meaning and dreams offer divine direction, but we can’t dance detached from our feet. To live alive we must reside in our present posture.
It is also important to note too often the past is a reminder of remorse, the future a foreboding forecast. Neither is clear, each filled with fear.
My time as of late has been spent preparing for a significant move, and I have frequently found myself straddling days. I have vacillated between pensive projections and delightful daydreams, merry memories and reticent regrets. This stance has cost me valuable time. I have not been present with my boys, my husband, my God. I have looked forward to our new home, not realizing we are always home. Home is acceptance, love, and belonging. It is protection, peace, and rest. Home is the fulfillment of a longing for God and God is Immanuel, with us, our home no matter where in our journeys we sojourners find ourselves.
God is Love and Love is now. Love does not exist in reflection or projection. Yes, God is here and there and everywhere, but His Love manifests tangibly in us in real time–not the beginning or the end, but smack dab in the middle.
For goodness’s sake, don’t piddle on the middle!
My husband illustrated this beautifully last week. As we were rushing from one commitment to the next, stopping only to pick up and scarf down dinner on the run, we noticed two shabbily dressed, disheveled men passed out against a brick wall next to the parking lot of the pizza place, empty beer cans and paper bags scattered around them and their shopping cart. I’m sure John’s thoughts were ping-ponging between where we had been and where we were going, but when he walked out of that pizza joint with two pizzas, dropped one off with me at the car and continued on with the second to the gentlemen hungering for food and then some, I smiled knowing Love had won the moment and I was witnessing life really lived.
I was those drunk men, intoxicated on thought, dizzy with desire, bleary-eyed, cross-eyed, oblivious to the now. I was searching for home, not seeing it around me, with me, in me. I was passed out, blind, starving for the feast placed in front of my face, slumbering, stagnant, slipping away.
And then Love dropped by with a pizza and a prayer and, dehydrated as I was, my eyes gulped the scene–heart-filling, life-flowing. Blood pumping, breath returning, I looked down at my feet and smiled.
I was dancing.