We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
I look at my journal, that precious place where God and I meet, and I see a great, big “SHOULD” button flashing in my brain. I try to pick up my pen, but I can’t start to write. Shaking my head, I drop the pen back on the desk and push away the journal. “No,” my insides shout, “not now,” so I sigh and turn to face the lush green woods outside my office window. Something tight, something heavy, blocks my wonder, my creativity, my productivity; I can’t even finish the simplest of tasks. I can almost feel a physical grip on my heart.
“Oh, just do it,” my earnest evangelical friend (whose voice resides firmly in my head) exhorts. “Don’t think and introspect. Only start, and the rest will follow.”
Fair enough. Plenty of times, my mountain is moved by small ant-sized accomplishments. But this is not one of those times. I know myself. This lack of rest, driven busyness, and restless non-work are not driven by a lack of will. Gutting it out may work as a short-term prod, but never as a long-term solution. Read the rest of this entry »