Stop Fixing Me!

by Dawn Aldrich

toolbox“Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.” Psalm 143:8

I finally own a pretty, woman’s tool box. You know, the dainty one where all the essential tools are wrapped in pink? It sits atop my refrigerator where I can easily find every tool needed for those quick-fix household repairs.

But, it’s not always those loose floor boards or broken door handles that surfaces my urge to fix things. Rather, my uncontrollable urge to make things right erupts when those most precious to me are hurting. And before you think I’m a softhearted, altruistic wife, mother and grandmother, let me set the record straight. I don’t like broken things because they bring discomfort, disharmony and disorder. I like life simple, orderly and happy.

But life is full of discomfort, disharmony, and disorder, so I’ve learned that although I want to fix everything – offer the right tool – when life breaks my loved ones’ hearts, fixing just makes things worse. Why? Because, (1) I can’t fix everything. If I could fix everything then I’d be God. I’m certainly not. (2) They don’t want fixing. Mostly, they want a good listener and encouragement; someone who will shoulder their pain and encourage their hearts with unconditional love.

God’s worked on my irregular passion for order and happiness over the years and I’ve learned it’s through our brokenness we can either help or hinder God’s power (his Holy Spirit) in our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

In Jesus Lives, by Sarah Young she puts it this way:

“Stop feeling responsible to fix people since that is {God’s} role…You can be part of the process, but remember {God} is the Author and Director of the drama…Do not usurp {God’s} role in people’s lives.”

Young offers these tips to those of us who love to fix things:

  • Prayerfully release your loved ones to God’s Care
  • Restrain your urges to fix them or their problems
  • Listen to them
  • Pray with and for them
  • Trust God’s infinite wisdom

Do you suffer from the urge to fix things with your loved ones? How does God help you restrain that urge?

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