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Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.
I’m always glad to spend time with you, little one. I’m so proud of you. I’m writing to you today because I want to answer a prayer you pray often. You ask me what my will is for you, what I want from you. You sure do like to talk to me, but I thought I’d write to you to make certain you can see and hear my answer; to make sure you are listening.
I want to be alone with you and for you to be completely yourself and know that whatever you say, whatever you do, I will always love you. I want you to be as honest with me as you are able, and you know I don’t lie or pretend. Don’t be afraid to tell me how you are really feeling; not just what you think I want to hear. Don’t pretend with me. I don’t like that and it hurts me to see how hard you try to be something I never asked you to be. It wears you out and makes you anxious to know if you are playing the role well enough. You don’t need to do that. Just be you. I love when you are you.
I’m your Papa and I am here for you. There is so much I long to be for you. Would you let me? Will you allow me to help you and provide for you like a good Papa? Sometimes you get so busy telling me about your needs and how hard you are trying that our time together comes to an end before I can tell you what I want to be for you. I’m sad to see you leave as heavy burdened as you came.
Next time we talk, can we try something different? I want you to come just as you are. Be yourself. You already know I love that. But, this time, crawl up on my lap, put your head upon my chest and listen for my heartbeat. Just listen. Sit for awhile and listen in the quiet. Wait for me to speak to you. When I know you are listening, I will begin to speak to you. I’ll tell you of my love for you and remind you how much I value you. I’ll make a list of all the things I like about you and fill your heart with courage.
This is when I get to be myself to you. Your Abba, your Papa. I begin to tell you who I am and all I long to be for you. Anxiety, worry ,and shame become silenced and grace and mercy wash over you until you are refreshed and renewed and receive from me. You leave feeling care-free because you have been cared for.
I wonder if you would give me permission to be gracious to you. I long to lavish you with my love and mercy. I’ll be waiting for you.”