A Whip-Wielding Crusader
by Mindy Kiker
It can be tempting to believe that Jesus doesn’t shine in the places where we have been wounded, where arrows or lies have lodged in our hearts from the hurt we have experienced in life. The painful experiences create damaged pieces of our hearts that feel dark indeed. Our enemy strategizes to attack our identity, our gifting, and even our bodies in order to break and shatter who God made us to be, to shroud out the radiant light of His love, joy, and peace.
In our hearts there are places where God’s healing light has not yet reached. Jesus died to purchase our healing, our cleansing, our freedom, but He also stands at the door and knocks. Unfortunately, it can take many years for us to trust Him enough to open our wounded places to His light. He will never force the door open, but instead Jesus waits patiently for us to say, “Come to me, my Savior. I open the door of my heart and give you permission to heal my wounds and make me whole in these areas that have closed me off from your love and freedom.”
Recently, I was frustrated by dysfunctions in my life. I tried everything I could to change myself, but to no avail, so in desperation I finally prayed that prayer. As I listened quietly for an answer, I was transported in my memory back to my little 8-year old self, desperately needing to stop the sexual abuse that had plagued my childhood. I saw that God had designed and created me with an astounding strength of will and a powerful determination. I used this strength to make myself a whip woven with cords of anger, rage, intimidation, force, and threat.
The power was my own, not God’s. I made the whip because no one else would protect me. I was fighting a righteous fight — no child should be molested — but I had to rely on myself. I had to use my own strength, powered by anger.
In my vision during prayer, the Lord came and put His arm around my small shoulders and comforted me. He asked for the whip, but I didn’t want to hand it over. I did not want to be without a weapon against evil. Then my eyes widened as I saw Jesus making a new whip, just like He did in John chapter 2 when He was going to fight against the merchants in the temple. Jesus was making a whip for me!
I heard God say, “I made you strong so that you can fight against evil. Your fight started very young, and you have been using the whip you made when you were 8-years old, but I would like to give you a new, better defense. I am not going to leave you without a whip. May it never be!
“I made you a whip-wielding crusader. I want you to fight for righteousness. But the new whip I am making for you is woven with love and mercy. I want you to be strong and violent against evil but tender and gentle with people’s hearts.”
Some of us have gone our entire lives fighting a battle with a self-made weapon like I did, a weapon wielded in anger. Maybe you’re fighting a battle right now with a tool you have created and crafted, yet it lacks the strength of Christ. Jesus wants to make a new tool for you, a weapon that will fight for righteousness with love and mercy. Invite Him in to heal your wounds, to make you whole so that you can receive His love and freedom. Let His light shine in the redemption of your story.