I Don’t Fit….
by Carol Nicholls
Restore us, O Lord, and bring us back to you again! Lamentations 5:21 NLT
The table is covered with jigsaw pieces. On the cover is a beautiful nautical scene that should be recreated when all of these pieces are put together.
Actually, the upper left corner is almost done. But I am pondering a piece in my hand. The colors don’t seem to be right no matter where I look. A piece that will fit into the notches has not shown up. Oh well, sometimes it takes awhile to figure it out. Just put the piece down and keep on working.
Several hours later (I am not really good at jigsaw puzzles) the scene is completed, looking just like the box cover. There on the table is one lonely piece. The piece I could not get to fit. It seems it must belong to another puzzle altogether.
Most of my childhood I felt like that puzzle piece. No matter where I was or what I was doing, I just never seemed to “fit.” I used to wonder if the stork had dropped me into the wrong garden! My parents took very good care of my brother and me. We were well fed, spoiled at Christmas and birthdays and taught to be socially acceptable. I don’t ever remember lacking anything. Despite all of the good things, my impression was that I was a nuisance, somehow unacceptable. When I did my very best to please, it went unnoticed. If something went wrong with my brother or me, it was inevitably considered to be a consequence of a shortcoming in me. Once I was outside when my brother got into trouble. I was told I should have stopped him even if I wasn’t in the room because “you are the oldest.” That kind of logic was really difficult to grasp! My conclusion was that I just didn’t fit in this family.
It was not much different at school. Being a good student I sometimes felt like I belonged, but that would be a fleeting emotion. Before long, I would be walking alone while others chatted happily together. Because I didn’t know who I was, it was impossible for me to relate to others. Always looking for clues as to what they wanted, I tried to make myself into their image.
Then along came Jesus! We met in a New Year’s Eve watch-night service when I was fifteen. Reading the Gospels, He taught me that I am made in Father-God’s image. God does not make any mistakes. I am exactly as I am supposed to be and HE LIKES ME just as I am. There is nothing I can do to make Him love me more. There is nothing I can do make Him love me less. What JOY! I belong and I am loved and I am acceptable. Once I began to understand this I found that others began to like me too. Now I think they liked me all along. I just could not receive it.
Do you feel like a puzzle piece that just doesn’t fit? Negative thoughts about yourself and your value are lies from the father of lies. Bring them to Jesus – read His Word. Believe what He says. Ask Him to show you that it is all true. He keeps all of His promises, every one. You are cherished, loved, valued and valuable. Seek Him and you will find this is true for you too. It does not matter what anyone has ever said about you or to you. He loves you like you were His only child. Jesus is the bondage breaker and He wants to set you FREE.